Couches

Nick and I got some new couches this weekend. "New" is not exatly right, as these couches were bought from a neighbor, a Canadian fellow who lives across the street from me. They're big, they're black, they're pleather. They are not new. Plenty of cracks and holes (haw) and a bit of dirt, but a lot better than the stiff, lopsided hulk we had until last week.

That thing was a pain to get out of the house. It involved lots of lifting, moderate to severe cursing, removing the hinges of our screen door, and two tall, sweaty foreigners squeezing a piece of furniture down four flights of dark steps.

Well, we got that damn thing out of there, and now we have two comforable (and surprisingly light) replacements that didn't cost but a few dollars.

We left a note saying "please take me" in English and Chinese on the old couch and chair and put them out on the street. They sat there for a few days as merely ornaments for the alrady beautiful building we live in. And then, yesterday they were mysteriously gone.

Also,I got Dad's Sling Box up and running on my TV. Now, via an internet connevted PC, I can control and watch cable TV from at&t cable in Cleveland. It's just for typhoon days, I swear.

Anti-Taiwan Rant in 3...2...1...

I'm having one of those weeks that the Hess training staff would call "culture shock." I don't know if I even like that term, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to be content with my life right now.

I'm ill with something. Maybe the flu, maybe an upper respiratory infection, maybe something else. I don't know. All I know is that I haven't had any energy or appetite in three days and I've had all kinds of aches and pains. I went to see a doctor yesterday, my first time since I've been in Taiwan. I was initially hesitant to go to the hospital, because everyone has told me that it's such an ordeal. Boy, were they right. After waiting to check in, finding my way to the elusive section 3D, and waiting to get my blood pressure taken, I then waited another couple of hours to see the doctor. Imagine a room full of red faced, runny nosed people, some of whom have the worst hacking-death-rattle of a cough you've ever heard. They are all waiting for their number to show up on the sign next to their assigned doctor's door. My number was 49, and I waited from the number 20. When I finally saw the doctor, he barely checked me out, didn't take my temperature, and didn't even really listen to what I was telling him, but instead suggested symptoms I was having and proclaimed it a viral infection. This whole examination took approximately seven minutes. Ten minutes maximum.

Prescription for God-knows-what in hand, I headed down to the pharmacy to collect my meds, and was again greeted by a long line of sick people. I haven't seen Michael Moore's new movie yet, but it will have to be pretty damning of the American health care system to make me think socialized health care is at all effective after yesterday's ordeal.

So I got home from the hospital and was immediately called in to work. Sure, someone with a viral infection or... whatever can teach a group of kindergarteners, no problem. I also got the news that three of my weekly classes were inexplicably dropped from my schedule, reducing by 24 my monthly hours. Great. After lots of prodding and pleading, I finally got an explanation. I guess I'm not doing as well in my classes as I should be. The only explicit criticism I've gotten yet: I've been teaching too long on my last class of the week (something I was sure I corrected months ago.)

So let's recap. For doing too much, or upsetting a delicate timetable by 10 minutes a week, I received a schedule reduction of roughly 25%, with no explanation given upfront, and no way to argue my case. I'm not only pissed about the reduced number of hours, but also with the total lack of any communication, which I am told is part of Chinese culture. No one will ever tell me that they have a problem with my work or anything. They may mention something in a nice, suggestive way to one of the other teachers that may eventually make its way back around to me, but when I try to ask anyone about these things, I'm always met with this attitude like it's the first time they've ever heard of any problem, and I'm uniformly given the response that they will talk to someone about it.

I hope I can start to be positive soon, or it will make my life here much more difficult than it needs to be.

The Big Erection

Never mind the Iowa or New Hampshire caucuses in America. Never mind Obama or Huckabee or Hillary. The most important election to me right now is the one here in Taiwan. Taiwanese politics is, for the most part, still a mystery to me. I know that like America, it consists mainly of two opposing viewpoints- the pro-reunification Pan-Blue coalition headed by the Kuomintang (KMT) party, and the Pan-Green coalition headed by current President Chen Shui-bian's Democratic Progressive Party (DPP.)

Local elections are coming up soon, and all candidates fro my area are having a real go at campaigning. I don't really care who wins, and to be honest, I don't have any interest in researching their political standings right now. I just want it all to be over.

I'm sick today. Sick as a dog. I called off work and I am currently awake and typing this post instead of sleeping because these politicking bags of douche have rented vans emblazoned with their thumbs up and smiling smug selves and are having said vans drive up and down the streets of Linko, blaring political messages at hundreds of ear hemorrhaging decibels.

And if I were healthy enough to go to work, I'd pass dozens of billboards, signs, flags, banners, and other propaganda seemingly originating from only two good ol' boys from Linko, one with a green polo shirt and glasses, smiling and giving me the thumbs up, the other with a cornflower blue polo shirt and sans spectacles, but also giving me a toothy smile and a hearty thumbs up.

Shut up. Shutupshutupshutupshutup.

I know I am a newcomer to this country, and I should respect the fact that they even have democracy in the first place (and I do, believe me,) but I can still criticize the overly irritating and invasive way in which that democratic process is executed.

Say what you will about Obama or Huckabee, at least they let me get some sleep.

Crash

I'll keep this brief because it hurts to type.

I wrecked my chopper. I was out driving yesterday afternoon with Luke, Melanie, and Jerry, and I didn't brake hard enough making a downhill turn on a mountain road and my scooter slid off the road. Fortunately, I fell off the scooter before it crashed into a wall, unfortunately I missed the soft berm and skidded along the pavement.

I skinned my left hand pretty badly, and my right elbow and knee. I may have a mild sprain to my left shoulder, and the bridge of my nose has a couple scratches from my helmet visor hitting me.

After I stood up, I felt to make sure I was all still there. My jacket was ripped to shreds, and my jeans had a couple of new holes, but the damage to my body was thankfully non life threatening. I realized I couldn't move my left arm up to unbuckle my helmet, and that scared me. After putting in a lot of effort, I finally raised my arm and felt a triumphant pop as my arm righted itself back into its socket. Success!

Of course, I took some photos after the wreck:

Minutes before the crash, we stop to take in a view and strategize.


The scene of the crash.


I still had a sense of humor, and I was still standing.

WARNING: EXTREME GORE!!!
(click to supersize)

After the crash, the rest of the group came back and we assessed the damage. My Yamaha Fuzzy 125 is in roughly the same banged up shape it was in before the accident, and my injuries didn't look too severe.

We got back on our steeds and drove slowly back to Linko, where Melanie helped clean the gravel out of my wounds and put some antiseptic and iodine on them. Thanks Mel!

I spent the rest of the day self medicating with Taiwan Beer and amoxicillin.

The lesson I learned: Be extra cautious driving on any road, but most of all on steep gradients and sharp turns. Also, always wear a helmet. Always.